Love and Loss.. still going strong

It's been a while since I've been on but a lot has been going on lately. School is going great I've got 3 A's and one B. So there has been some heartache in the past few days... we have been trying for 14 months to have a baby on our own without having to take medicine... I found out Friday (March 30) that I was pregnant I had 3 positive tests... I felt kinda funny and achy on Saturday but didn't think anything of it, well then on Sunday while doing laundry I started spotting which worried me a little bit. But the doctor wasn't open and I didn't want to go to the hospital since I was only going on 5 weeks there wasn't much they would've done anyways. I looked up spotting and one possibility  was implantation bleeding which helped ease my worries a little bit. Implantation bleeding is when the egg is implanting into the uterine wall and can cause some spotting but not major bleeding. But then before bed that night I started bleeding a little heavier, and I woke up at 4 am on Monday bleeding very heavily and have quite a bit of pain  in my abdomen and stomach, when I finally got a hold of my doctor later that morning they said it sounded like a miscarriage. This tore me down, after so long of trying and so many times of being crushed because I once again wasn't pregnant, I finally had another baby on the way and lost it only 3 days after finding out. I know it could have been a lot worse, but it was still the hardest thing I've ever endured in my life. Now our next step is to determine if we want to keep trying on our own once I'm healed or if we want to go ahead with the clomid treatments to be a little more ensured of pregnancy. So although it has been a rough week I still have to get back into my routine of life of being a mommy to a 2 year old and cooking and cleaning and being here with my husband and being a full time student although it feels like life should stop it doesn't and I know I will get better day by day. So to anyone who has gone through this it is a horrible experience and it is hard but it is something we as mothers can and will get through. So wish me luck on the next one whenever we decide we are ready again.